ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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