Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
