I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
