apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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