Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
