I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
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My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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