At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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