i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When are your genitals available?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
