when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Please, let me fuck your mom
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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