he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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