her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
