i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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