all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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