Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
