I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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