you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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