this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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