I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
