Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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