you guys were way drunker than both of me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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