Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize