i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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