So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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