It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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