in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
