I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
