he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
