Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
