you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
