that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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