OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize