its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
