The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm always down for nudity.
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