just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
