life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
