what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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