Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
are you so shy because you have an std?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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