I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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