Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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