I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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