I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
