you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
