just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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