Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
