i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
