why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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