OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
