Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
