I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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