I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
