NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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