Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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