i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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