so that wasnt chicken after all
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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