Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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