You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
