Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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