; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
