I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize