Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
